Simplicity Parenting

engrossed in the moment

Beatrice and her new bunny, Butterbean. Finally the farm has a bunny again. While it would great for Butters to live at the farm so all the children could visit and play, we are trying to keep her up at the house - mostly so I am not continuously asked to go to the farm to see her. So for any readers who don't know, we do not live at our farm, but a half mile up the road. Not a terrible distance to walk or bike you might say - but for about 10 months out of the year there is a wetland that floods the road between our house and farm, creating a 6 mile commute. The complexities that arise out of this circumstance are a topic for another time. But here I am getting to my point. Simplicity. I feel like I am ever striving to simplify, simplify, simplify. While living at the farm would be more simple, it just isn't an option so one of the things I'm trying to keep in mind is trying to limit the number of times I get in the car during the day to go down to the farm. Since it is spring and Bea is in school this is fairly easy to do. But I'm already thinking about summer when we'll be there more and more, yet needing to come back for nap, lunch, oh I forgot sunscreen again and I have to make that phone call etc. While this is one example let me step back into the more general picture.

Lately I've been reading Kim John Payne's book Simplicity Parenting which extols the virtues of downsizing our stuff and our schedules in order to give our children the time and space they need to be kids. He writes, "Imagine... appreciating the pleasure of the ordinary." This profoundly struck me, as I watch the children doing exactly that in every moment, the little buddhas that they are. As adults we strive for such awareness instead of multitasking and always thinking ahead to the next project to prepare for or chore that has to be done. And herein lies the magic of rhythm. I think I am setting a good example for the children when I adhere to our family's daily rhythm, but I'm also making my life a lot less complicated by taking out a whole host of variables and choices. It is so freeing! And so I'll keep striving ....

Waiting Here in Limbo....

Well, my due date is 2 days away.  With Bea I was 2 days late.  Not too bad.  I am definitely ready to burst.  We are all organized, no lose ends that I can think of so it really feels like I am sitting around waiting.  Wishing I had some crafty projects to work on, but of course I don't really want to start on anything new right now.   (Right now Bea is telling Dan that at school she and one of her friends played that she was having a baby!)

I'm also at a loss for good books to read.  Some good reads about midwifery are Ami McKay's The Birth House and Peggy Vincent's Baby Catcher.  The Birth House is historical fiction set in Nova Scotia around WWI.  It follows Dora Rare, a young midwife, working in her small community while a physician of "modern" obstetrics arrives to try to change the traditional birth practices.

Baby Catcher follows Peggy Vincent's journey from delivery room nurse to childbirth educator, to a licensed midwife. The book includes lots and lots of birth stories and insight on how every woman births differently.  Also she writes about issues facing midwives in and out of hospital settings.  

So with only a handful of days to go I should be savoring this special time with Bea. We have been out sledding and walking in the snow everyday and that has been really nice.  I'll try to come up with some more special projects for us over the next couple days....

Hello Baby... book, not peanut

No our little peanut hasn't arrived early, rather Hello Baby is the title of a wonderful book depicting a wintery homebirth. There couldn't be a more perfect way to introduce Bea to what actually could happen on the day peanut comes out into the world.  The mom takes a walk in the woods, the midwife arrives with her gear, the soon to be big brother helps his dad bring in fire wood for the cold wintery night.... even one of the big sisters is named Bea.  The illustrations are beautiful and convey so much love.  The mom walks around the house during labor with the dad holding her during contractions. The three older children get to see their little brother being born and even get to check out the placenta.  In the evening the whole family camps out in front of the fire.  I first read the book to Bea soon after it arrived in the mail. She was engrossed and I couldn't hold back my tears.  Later that evening Bea was showing Dan the book at the dinner table, he started reading and started crying.  He really hadn't expected to be so touched.  I think this was an "aha" moment for him when he was reminded of the emotions of  birth  and the reality that we are all going to be back at that special place soon. It was so funny. We were both crying, laughing and trying to explain to Bea the strange phenomenon of crying when you are happy.  On Bea's request we are now reading Hello Baby at least once a day.  

Bea is very excited to be a big sister and is becoming very interested about the birth.  "How is the baby going to come out of your vagina?"  If every thing goes according to plan, she will get to find out!  

World Made By Hand

I guess it has only been about a month, so I don't know if that really qualifies for neglect. But I expected something like this to happen. As farm life gets busier I have less desire to elucidate on it. Rather, I have plenty ideas, happenings, etc I'd be happy to share... the problem is actually sitting down at the computer. By the time Bea is asleep or on her way there I usually just want to tune out. Finally here I am. Thought I would mention how I've been tuning out lately.

Ever wonder what will happen when we run out of gas (or can't get it here)? When there are no cars? No electricity? No centralized government? Well I've just finished World Made By Hand by James Howard Kunstler. HIs characters certainly suffer their share of hardships in the post-apocalyptic world, but it was refreshing to ponder the return of agrarian life, set up in Washington County, NY where we spent a winter across from the Battenkill River. So if you've ever found yourself wondering if we'll ever be in the situation where we start digging things out of our landfills because we could actually use the things we threw away, pick up this book. It is as much about how we live today as what the future could look like.